Birthday Boy

My boy - the big one - turned twelve on Wednesday.  Twelve years old.  That's just one year away from teenagerdom.  This is a thought I will not allow myself to spend too much time on.  Mostly because it doesn't seem like it was too long ago that Ellis looked like this:

Wait, I'm sorry dear reader.  Was that too much?  Were you able to handle that much adorableness in one photo?  I'll move on...

But what I have gladly thought about quite a bit over the last few days is just how blessed I am to have a son like Ellis.  It's really hard for a mother to describe her love for her kids.  There are just too many facets of that love and too few words in the English language.  I tried to do it once here, on my other blog, but I'm not quite sure anyone has ever been able (or ever will) to put it into words.

On his birthday we had a celebratory dinner of pizza, salad and homemade birthday cake.  And I don't mean Tombstone or the Walmart version thereof.  I'm talking Domino's, y'all.  Believe it or not, this was a special treat in the Byrd house.  And the cake??  Well, let's just say I earned myself some Pinterest Points (a.k.a. tiny morsels of justification for spending too much time pinning on that darn website) by creating a fabulously colorful and fun birthday dessert.  And, let's face it, homemade box mix cake really is just as good as one of those expensive ones from Publix in all its buttercream frosted glory.  Maybe even better.  Right?

 

 

 

 

 

 

At dinner, we spent a little time talking about Ellis.  Collectively we came up with twelve things we love most about him.  I was proud of the girls as they took this task seriously and said some great things (although one of Gillian's comments was, "I think one thing that's great about Ellis is that he's weird . . . and I like weird."  We helped her identify "unique" as a better word choice.  And he really is unique.). 

We talked about how sensitive and caring he is, to everyone around him.  He has a wonderful ability to find the good in people, and when people seem to be nothing but bad, he is compassionate, somehow understanding that there are probably reasons they are the way they are.

He is sweet and loving, which makes him a wonderful big brother to his new little buddy, Jin.  In fact, he was the first of us to hold and love on Mr. Cutiepants on the day we met him.

Sidebar:  Speaking of Jin, you may be wondering what he was doing during all of this.  He was being sweet and cute, sitting in his little booster seat, NOT eating his pizza.  This came as a surprise, because he's normally the human food vacuum.  So that means the two foods he has pretty much refused since we came home are homemade spaghetti sauce and pizza.  I know these foods didn't originate in the U.S., but haven't we all made them typical American family favorites?  I hope they don't revoke his citizenship.

Ellis is also very intelligent, imaginative and creative - a LEGO architect, excellent writer and cartoon artist, and a budding musician.  He is energetic, and adventuresome. Nobody likes a good make-believe battle or real-life exploration like this kid.

He's got moves, too.  Just ask him.

Another thing we love about Ellis is his love for God and the way he takes seriously his desire to serve Him.  He ponders spiritual things and isn't afraid to ask questions about the things he doesn't know or understand.  He is a boy of great faith and, I know, purpose.  Lord, give us the wisdom to help him nurture that faith and discover that purpose.

Of course, one of the things I love most about Ellis is the fact that he still lets me love on him.  This very morning he kissed me goodbye at the door before he headed off to school.  Don't get me wrong - he's definitely starting to wonder just how cool or not cool it is to love on yer mama.  Just the other night, when I went to tuck him in, he said, "Mom, don't you think I might be getting a little old to be tucked in?"  I assured him that YES, he is too old to be actually "tucked in," but that's not what I was doing, of course.  He's perfectly capable of climbing into his own bed and pulling up his own covers, even closing his own door.  But I am totally going to walk right into that darkened room and lean over to tell him "good night" and that I love him and kiss him on his still-soft cheek.  I explained that he'll never been too old for that.  He agreed, but we'll see how long even this little ritual lasts as he gets older.  *sigh*

But honeys, for now I'm milkin' it for all it's worth and taking advantage of every sweet moment I can.

And there's one last thing I love about Ellis.  I didn't save it for last because it's the most important or anything like that.  It's just one part of his Ellis-ness that happened to show up unexpectedly last night, and I found myself laughing out loud.  Ellis is funny.  Sometimes he's funny on purpose, and he has a great, smart sense of humor and great comedic timing.  Other times, however, he's not meaning to be funny, he's just being himself, but he completely cracks.me.up.  Last night was one of those times.  He and Tony had just gotten back from his instrument "fitting" at school, where his band director and others help sixth graders decide what instruments are right for them.  He showed aptitude on several instruments, which only meant his decision was more difficult.  We all talked about it and listened to his thoughts and shared ours, and he finally decided on percussion, which we thought was a great choice.  But just as we were finishing the conversation, I came across a worksheet from his band instructor.  It was basically a chart listing all the available instruments, with two columns labeled "Before" and "After."  He was to write his initial thoughts about each instrument before it was introduced to his class, based only on what he already knew about it.  Then after he saw them and watched a demonstration of how they're played, he was to write his thoughts about each one again.  Like I said, I laughed out loud.  I imagine a lot of kids repeatedly used words like "yes," "no," and "maybe."  But not Ellis.  My favorites are oboe, bassoon, euphonium (huh?), and tuba.

Have I mentioned I love this boy?  Happy Birthday, my sweet son.  :-)

I need one more week.

Okay, maybe just a few days.  Something.  I'm just not ready for today.  We just got home from China on Thursday night, and all my big kids started school today.  I knew it was coming, of course, but I'm still not ready for it.  Emotionally or otherwise.  All three limped away with sub-standard loads of school supplies.  We'll get the rest tonight after I know exactly what Caroline and Ellis really need.  They are, after all, starting high school and middle school, respectively, and they won't really know what they need for each class until after today. 

HIGH SCHOOL AND MIDDLE SCHOOL.  Did I mention I'm not ready for this?

So this morning included moments that were weird, sad, funny, stressful, proud, rushed, surreal . . . you name it.  It started when I slipped out of bed carefully so I wouldn't wake the sleeping Chinese kid next to me. 
There was a sleeping Chinese kid next to me!!  WHAT??  As I write this I'm reminded of a post I wrote long ago where I imagined this very thing.  Kinda sweet how that has come full circle and I'm experiencing the real thing.  :-)  Of course, sometime this week we might start trying to transition Jin to his own room.  Pray, saints.  To quote one of my favorite modern English poets, Dylan Thomas, he will "not go gently into that good night."

Anyway, I quietly woke Caroline up at 6:00 to get ready for school.  I didn't want to wake Gillian, because her school day doesn't start until two hours later than Caroline's.  This is just part of what is going to make school mornings a little nutty the next two years, I think.  So Caroline got ready for school, her first day of her freshman year of high school, and I was so proud of my beautiful firstborn as she and Tony pulled out of the driveway.  My sweet Caroline, who has already fearlessly signed up to be in some skit during homecoming week, and who helped her sister pick out an outfit for today, and who was an unbelievable source of help and leadership and bigsisterness on our trip to China.  I love that girl.

Just before it was time for Caroline to leave for school, about 7:00ish, I had barely managed to form the thought I need to wake Ellis up next when the boy appeared before my eyes, fully dressed and completely perky and happy.  How could I have forgotten that he's my schedule-driven child who laid out his clothes last night in the shape of a body on the floor of his room (the first time he did that last year it scared me to death, because I thought it was an actual body) and set his own alarm clock and woke to it within an instant of hearing it and dressed in the dark and emerged from his room as though he'd been up for an hour?  That's Ellis.  He was literally standing in the kitchen with his backpack on, having eaten his breakfast and brushed his teeth, before Caroline and Tony even left.  I'm thankful for a self-assured kid who is more excited than nervous about starting the dreaded middle school years.  So he had plenty of time to play with his little brother, who woke up a few moments later asking for his ge-ge (which means "big brother" and is pronounced guh-guh), which he does pretty much every morning.  So sweet.  And then it was Ellis' turn to head to school, and my handsome almost-twelve-year-old rode off with Tony, this time in the van so Jin could go along for the ride.





And sweet little Gillie Bean was next.  She woke up not long after Ellis did, and I realized it's not all bad that our bodies are still adjusting to the time changes we've experienced.  She was wiped out by 9:00 last night, so she got a really good night's sleep, which she, more than any of the others, really needs.  She ate a couple of cinnamon rolls and dressed in her cute outfit she had chosen last night, complete with brand new shoes she got yesterday.  She gathered the few supplies I had managed to find in all the school stuff I brought home when I cleaned out my classroom in June.  Thankfully, she wasn't bothered by the fact that she wouldn't have absolutely EVERYTHING on the list today.  She packed her own lunch and fixed her hair and watched a video with Jin, and it was my turn to do taxi service.  She paused long enough on our way out the door to let me snap a picture of her, too.  My beautiful baby girl is a fourth grader.  *sigh*

Ya know, when you're a teacher, you have to arrive an hour before school starts, and on the very first day I've always liked to arrive even earlier.  So I was vaguely aware of the madness that is the car line on the first day of school, but since it's been years since I've had to actually participate in it, I had completely forgotten.  So I was unprepared to encounter the car line backed all the way up to the entrance to my own little neighborhood, which is just less than a mile away from our school.  That's a long car line, honeys.  I found myself weighing the pros and cons of letting Gillian bike to school.  It won't be this way after a few days, I know, but still.  Crazy. 

When we finally made it onto the school property (about ten or fifteen minutes later), I parked on the grass and walked Gillian in.  We stopped along the way to give lots of hugs and answer questions about Jin from my sweet co-workers, promising them I'll bring him to meet everyone soon.  These were some of the weird moments of the morning.  It was so strange to be bringing my child to school and not greeting other people's children in my classroom.  I miss the excitement of being a teacher on the first day of school, and the whole time I was there this morning it seemed as though I was forgetting something I was supposed to be doing or that I wasn't where I was supposed to be.  But I know I was exactly where I am supposed to be, and it felt good to hold Gillian's hand and walk her to her class like all those other parents.  Kinda the best of both worlds, really.  Still an Oakstead Otter, just playing a different role this year.  :-)

When I finally got home, it occurred to me that Caroline was probably already in her third period class, and Ellis had already faced, for the first time ever, the challenge of changing classes in a busy hallway with kids he doesn't know and teachers he's never met.  Lord, be with them today.  And when I walked in the front door, I was greeted with the sweetest sound . . . "Mommy!"  Tiny voice from a tiny body, sitting on Daddy's lap in front of the computer, eating Cheerios in his new pajamas, no doubt wondering where in the heck his sisters and brother went.  This is his "something'sgoingonthatyou'renottellingme" look:

And now, as I wrap this up, Jin is zonked out on the couch, Tony is getting some things done on the computer, and Caroline gets OUT of school in two hours.  Gee, what will I do with all this time?  Well, there are still quite a few things that I've unpacked and need to put away, and there's laundry, and my kitchen is a wreck, and I really want to post about our trip, and I've got a long way to go before Jin's room is really done, and I actually still have some thank-you notes to write (some things never change), and there are random things laying all around my house.

So begins this new phase of our lives.  Nothing like jumping right in, huh?



Byrds in China - Beijing

(Note: Due to Byrd technical difficulties and then my procrastination issues, this is posted long after originally written. My apologies - Vanessa)

We made it to China! The plane ride, though really long, was perfect, and all five of us enjoyed watching our choice of movies on our personal video screens right in front of us. This was a great addition to transcontinental air travel, and I owe a debt of gratitude to the person who came up with that idea. Tony and I enjoyed looking across the aisle and watching Caroline, Ellis, and Gillian having a great time together, all geeked out about the endless selection of movies and sportin’ their fancy new neck pillows. We thought they would be a worthy investment for the trip, and we were right. Don’t get me wrong . . . it was still really hard to get any real sleep. But at least none of us needed physical therapy for our necks once we landed.

We arrived at our hotel around 12:30 a.m. and fell into bed shortly thereafter. When we got up this morning at 7:00, we were exhausted, but so excited about the day ahead of us. We met the other two couples in our travel group, one of whom brought their sweet four-year-old son along. They are all such wonderful people, and we enjoyed the opportunity throughout the day – in the minibus, at lunch and dinner – getting to know one another and hearing about the children we’re adopting and the paths that brought us all here. Our fabulous guide, Maggie, basically took us all on the whirlwind tour of the most popular Beijing tourist destinations: Tiananmen Square, The Forbidden City, The Great Wall, and the Olympic area. People. Were. Everywhere. We learned that sixteen million people live in Beijing, and one million visit the Tiananmen Square and Forbidden City area every day. I think we saw 678,335 of them, and most of them were carrying umbrellas to shade themselves from the blazing hot sun. Since we’re from Florida, we felt right at home in the heat, but “right at home” still means hot, thirsty, and sticky, and I found myself wondering why more people in the States don’t use umbrellas for this purpose. Especially in Florida. I might start an umbrella revolution when I get home.

Tiananmen Square is also where we had our first experience with the locals treating my kids like superstar celebrities. Amazing how popular a blonde-haired person can be in China. The first time it happened, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that a nearby girl was setting up to take a picture of her friend, who was standing a few feet away from Caroline and her long, flowing , very blonde hair. But every time Caroline moved a foot this way or that, so did the two girls, adjusting themselves to keep Caroline in the shot. When I pointed this out to Caroline, she turned and waved to the camera. And then the girls giggled and just came right out and asked if they could take a picture with her. And so began the Byrd Kids Paparazzi Tour of Beijing. It was hilarious, and my sweet children embraced their new celebrity, smiling and posing graciously as Chinese mamas thrust their children toward them, put their hands in theirs, and clicked away. One even smoothed Gillian’s hair for her before the shot, just like I would do. This happened everywhere we went, but the people were sweet and polite, and the whole thing was one of the highlights of our day.

The Forbidden City, which was the home of the Imperial Family for centuries, was truly amazing in its size and scope. A huge courtyard led through a gate, which opened onto an even bigger courtyard, at the far end of which was another gate, beyond which we found another enormous courtyard . . . and so on. It was big, y’all. And beautiful. And I kept wondering why in the world I didn’t watch “The Last Emperor” before this trip. Definitely going on the Netflix list when we get home.

After lunch, which was authentic and delicious, it was time for C90X. Also known as the Great Wall of China. My friends, it wasn’t for the feint of heart. And I mean that quite literally, because anyone with a heart issue should NOT – I repeat, NOT – climb this wall. It was, at times, so steep that I had to force myself not to look down behind me for fear I would lose my balance and bump and roll to my death on the stony, unforgiving steps. And those steps were not even, in that some were eight or ten inches high, while others were more like eighteen. I’m not kidding. I stopped several times on the way up, but it was just because I wanted to take pictures, of course. Certainly not because my hamstrings were on fire and my pulse was visible on the side of my neck or because I could have drop-kicked Miley Cyrus just thinking about that stupid song of hers. What does she know about "The Climb?! Has she been to the Great Flippin’ Wall of Flippin’ China??? But anyway, we were troopers. Especially Ellis and Tony, who went way farther than us girls. Can’t wait to see the video they shot. I’ll do that just as soon as I can move my legs again.

                                       

 

Next we took a quick tour of Beijing’s Olympic Park. Four years ago, we were wowed by the creativity of the architecture of the Olympic venues, and seeing them up close was even more impressive. The Bird’s Nest did not disappoint. It truly is a marvel of modern architecture, and being there was, well, really cool. And, it’s the BIRD’S Nest. So we had to take pictures of the Byrds at the Bird’s Nest. Tony remarked that this may very well be the last family photo we’ll take while still a “flock of five” (still really need to figure out a new name for this blog). Wow.

After another huge and scrumptious meal, we’re now back in the hotel, and everyone except me is showered and sound asleep. At 9:30 p.m. We are whipped, people. Totally exhausted. So we really need our rest, because tomorrow is a big day. It’s THE big day. As in, Thewholereasonwhywecamehere Day. Gotcha Day. Jin Day.

Stay tuned . . .!

Byrds in Flight. Really, we're like, getting on a plane.

It is nearly impossible for me to absorb the fact that TODAY is the day we're leaving for China.  In fact, I'm typing this while sitting in the Tampa airport terminal, surrounded by over-stuffed carry-on bags, almost freezing under a very strong air vent (I knew I'd be glad I brought my jacket), with the taste of Starbucks coffee fresh on my lips (tastes even better when you get it for free by giving them an empty coffee bean bag, by the way). 

Ellis is right behind me in the kiddie play area (yes, he's almost twelve) organizing a game of tag or hide'n'seek or something with complete strangerchildren, the parents of whom just might be a little concerned at his complete lack of "I'venevermetyousoI'lljustplayitcool."  And his size.

Gillian just returned from the aforementioned Starbucks with her very own Mocha Cookie Crumble blended creme (a.k.a. milkshake) purchased with her own money.  She had to scarf down the sandwich we brought from home before we'd let her go get it.

Caroline is charging her ipod, upon which we are depending for lots of Facetime with the family back home while we're in China.

Tony is reading an article in Christianity Today.

And Jin . . . well, he's asleep, because it's 4:48 a.m. on Friday where he is, just two days before his world changes forever. 

A voice just came over the loudspeaker asking for one volunteer with "flexible travel plans" who would be willing to give up his/her seat on the overbooked flight to Detroit.  Nice.  Seriously?  Why do they do that? 

We've packed everything we can possibly imagine we'll need, and probably some extra stuff, too, and still all our suitcases were under the weight limit.  Good thing they didn't weigh my carry-on, because I can barely lift the thing.

And now it's time to make sure everyone goes to the bathroom, start gathering our stuff, and make our way to the gate.  Supposed to leave in thirty minutes.  For Detroit.  And then on to China.  TO ADOPT OUR TODDLER SON!!!  WHAAAAATTTTT!

Yeah, I know.  I'm all over the road and I have been this way for the past two days.  It's a wonder we were able to get here without "someone" having a small nervous breakdown.

But today really is the day we've been been anticipating for SO long.  And I. am. stoked.

Here we go!

For REAL?

We finally got what we've been waiting so long for - our travel approval!  Let me hear a big "WOOHOOOO!!"  The U.S. says we can bring Jin home, so now China has said we can go there to get him.  So much international back-and-forth to get this thing done.  Our tentative travel date is Thursday, August 2nd, which is only a week and a half away. 

But even as I type this, it still seems just a bit surreal.  When you've waited and waited and waited for something, and you've talked about it ad nauseum, and you've planned for it forever, and you've imagined it 1,498,302 (approximately) times . . . when it's finally upon you it's weird how hard it is to truly digest.  I think a lot of things are like that.  I've planned big vacations a year in advance before, and the feeling is similar.  I remember having these thoughts right before I got married.  I imagine when someone is dealing with the long, difficult illness of a loved one, and the inevitability of his or her death, when the end actually comes it can seem as though it was somehow able to sneak right up.

I feel this way about our adoption.  Not the comparison to the above-mentioned death scenario, of course!  But that surreal feeling?  Definitely. 

Even though I have pictures and video of him,
and I feel this incredible sense of connection to him,
and we're painting his room and arranging all his little things,
and this is all very much real,
I still feel kind of like it isn't, well, real. 
Not yet. 

Maybe it's because we've waited for so long and it's always seemed like something that's going to happen way in the future.  I hesitate to even say that when I know many people wait much longer for their children.  Surely we all know people who have tried and tried to get pregnant, sometimes to no avail, or others who have been through a much lengthier process to adopt.  When I think of these people I feel wonderfully blessed.  By the time we travel, it will have been only fifteen months for us.  A relatively short time in the grander scheme of things.

Maybe it's because I'm not actually pregnant with Jin.  If I were, I'd be able to feel his little body kicking and elbowing against mine, from the inside.  That's tangible, and any woman who's experienced it will tell you that there's no denying that the imminent birth of a child seems quite real indeed.  Thinking about it reminds me that there was a woman who felt Jin kicking and elbowing inside her, but following that train of thought would lead to the longest sidebar ever in the history of this blog (and my Legion of Readers can attest to the fact that sidebars aren't uncommon).  So maybe I'll save that for another time.

Maybe it's because I'm in a hotel in room in Tallahassee with Caroline's softball team doing nothing that even remotely resembles getting ready for a trip to China.  Yeah, that could have something to do with it.  So that means when I get home sometime tomorrow evening I'll immediately dive into the long "to do" list I started on the way up here, combining it with the list I was already working on, and I'll make fast progress toward preparing for a very real trip to China to pick up a very real boy and bring him home to be a part of our family.

Forever.  And that's for real.

Catching Up

Quite a bit has been going on since my last post.  The school year sped along toward its end, and that made everything extra busy around here.  Adoption milestones were being reached at what seemed like lightning speed, and we were convinced we would be heading across the ocean in early July.  We have been raising money like crazy, and I'm thinking of dedicating an entire post just to describe that, because I had a couple pretty cool "a-ha" moments in the space of just a couple weeks related to our fundraising. 

But now things have slowed down a bit, for a variety of reasons:

1.  School's out.  Need I say more?  Okay, I will.  Throughout the school year I pretty much feel as though life is zipping by at a dangerous pace and I'm just barely hanging on by my fingernails.  Well, that feeling intensifies right at the end.  That's when a lot of extras are added (some related to my job and some related to my family), like preparing for and attending awards ceremonies, going on the 5th grade field trip with Ellis (which means getting sub plans ready for the day I was absent), entering report cards, shopping with Caroline for a dress for the eighth grade dance, finishing up final paperwork, and packing up my entire classroom in boxes to bring home, because I'm taking a leave of absence next year to stay home with Mr. Cutiepants.  I wasn't entirely convinced I would actually make it through those last two weeks with my sanity intact, but I think I did.  Although, perhaps you should ask my kids.

2.  We hit a snag with the adoption paperwork.  This is not a good thing, people.  We are so eager to get the heck over there and get Jin Connor Byrd and bring him home!  However, although it IS causing a delay, it's not a huge one (we think), so I guess in a way it's not the worst thing in the world.  It has given us the opportunity to take a deep breath, knowing we have a few more weeks to prepare our home for Jin and to prepare ourselves for the trip to China.  The kids and I spent a week in GA and TN visiting family one last time before we add to ours, and this week our goal is to get the kids' rooms all changed around so we're ready for Jin.  I'm looking on the bright side here, folks.

So, I'm grateful for a slower pace, at least for now.  Don't get me wrong - there's still plenty going on around here.  I'll be blogging about it more regularly.  In fact, I need to post pictures of all the aforementioned activities, because I did mangage to take a few.  That will be another post, though, because right now I have to go help Ellis clean out his room.  Shouldn't be too hard, because he's a fairly neat and organized kid.  But when I start on Gillian's room . . . well, just know that there's a mama in Florida who's going to need some prayer.  Or maybe a massage.  Or both.

It's official!

So.  We got our Referral Approval from China.  Yeehaw!  Basically, that means they have reviewed our dossier (mountain of paperwork proving we are who we say we are, etc.), and they have officially deemed us worthy to take one of their sweet children and make him a Byrd.  And that's exactly what we plan to do.  This also means I can splatter his cuteness all over the worldwide web and beyond, so that everyone in the universe can admire him.

I know, right?!

Anyway, the good news is we seem to be on the fast track.  You may remember in a previous post I think I mentioned that we received his referral from our agency only a few days after we actually submitted the Waiting Child (kids with special needs) portion of our agency application.  Sometimes it can take months for a family to receive a referral, because it all depends on what children's files the agency receives.  It may be a long time before a child comes their way who meets the specifications of the adoptive family.  This is why we were basically dumbstruck when our agency called with a referral after only a few days.  And then, of course, came the agonizing decision about whether or not this kid was THE ONE, and I learned a little more about standing on faith during those couple of weeks.

So then we had to finish compiling our dossier, and when we finally mailed it off to China and received a log-in date of February 6th, the only thing to do was wait.  They told us it would take two to four months before we would receive our Referral Approval, which is the official word from China saying we're approved to adopt Mr. Cutiepants.  I was completely relaxed for the first two months.  But when April 6th rolled around, I got just a little more anxious.  That was when the waiting game really started for me.  Fortunately, it didn't last long.  :-)  We got the RA on April 11th.

See what I mean by "fast track?"

So then we had to do some more paperwork.  I know you're shocked to read that.  What?  Adoption paperwork?  So we turned that around as quickly as we could, and now we're waiting for the next notification.  That will be our Travel Approval.  This is supposed to take two to three months.  If we stay on the fast track, that means early- to mid-June.  Then we'l travel two to four weeks after that.

So, we're looking at July, folks.  Just three short months until this little guys is truly ours.  Forever.